HELL IS OVER

The health retreat is finally over. I am now allowed the beautiful vices known as alcohol, cigarettes and real food (steamed vegetables, boiled egg and fruit is not real food). I thought I was going to look back after the health retreat and be like 'Yeh I really enjoyed that,' but no. I hated it. This is not just me being a sook either- I happily gave up my vices without complaining (much). However, I was really unwell the entire week. I refuse to spend thousands of dollars to sit in my room feeling like I wanted to project vomit and aching everywhere. The health retreat is definitely designed for people who are already generally healthy and want to get away, do some exercise and regenerate. Not for people like me who are probably more suited to going to rehab. The retreat itself is gorgeous. The views as you'll see below are magnificent, especially from 'meditation hill'. The rooms are really quite decadent- I had a king size bed and entire bathroom (the bath and the shower were separate not like those god awful shower baths that should be illegal- they are dangerous!!!!!! your standing in a bath!!!!) to myself. The personal trainers are excellent, they really know what they are doing and can cater to your needs very specifically. The spa treatments are also great (probably my favourite part of the retreat). Food on the other hand, I ate so much unflavoursome rabbit food that I am now a self-confessed junk food binger. THIS MORNING I SPENT $22 ON MACCAS BREAKFAST. I didn't even know you could spend this much as maccas. But if you like cardboard with copious amount of pepper dukkah and chilli (the only flavours you are allowed to pile on top of your 'meal') this place is for you.

Anyway I am alive and I managed to go cold turkey on cigarettes (and alcohol and caffeine) for a week so thankyou Golden Door. I will leave you with some photos so you can recognise hell.

This tastes a lot worse than it looks.